For all those who don't know me, I am 23 preparing for my first marathon and crazy about Monaz (my to-be-wife) whom I call Flounder.

Today I really understood what missing someone is.

I was at work for testing a few applications we use daily and for some live proving. Today being a Sunday I was almost alone on the entire floor, but for the security staff of the building. Now, I feel that I always put my hand up to work on Sundays/after work if there is some live proving that is needed after a change in the systems we use.

When Flounder used to work with me on the same project, we used to work on a few Sundays (without getting paid for it, just the love of work) and we spent quite a lot of time at work. There were times when I used to get out of bed on Sundays only because I wanted to be in office when Monaz was. Sundays were the only days we would work alone and we got to know a lot about each other on such sundays. There were times when I would feel bad to leave for home after working on sundays, coz that meant I could not see my then best friend. I knew it was growing into being something a lot more. I was able to connect to her thoughts and so was she to mine. I started feeling that the time spent with her was touching my soul. It was impacting me like none other. She was making a difference in my life, without even knowing it.

The floor we used to work on had minimal lighting on Sundays as there was no one else working then. So, I used to walk alongwith Monaz to the coffee machine, down to the cafeteria and so on. Today, when I walked the same corridors in the same minimal lighting I realised how much I miss her presence. I just had to stop for a moment and reflect on how amazing those days were.

I remember Mumma asking me if there was anything between us. I always said, "No WAY!!!". She is just a 'great friend and a colleague'. She could see it in my eyes I guess. I just started falling for Monaz after she started trusting me so much. I love her for that. Can't forgot those days.

Damn me! It was me who told her that it would be a good thing to switch jobs coz the new one would pay her more and give her a better position in the new company. Damn!

Now, I just remember all the Sundays working with her. We even did a few online quizzes from Blogthings. It was fun. We would listen to music and I would always make fun of her favourite songs. By the way, she likes Yeah! by Usher … … … 8-D I can't help but laugh … Oops! Sorry. I love her so much now that I've started liking everything that she is fond of.

As I said before,

Flounder IS Love.

Now, I went to Riya's (my sister) house today. It is bhai-bij today and it is a tradition to visit one's sisters' house for food. I took along a nice little table-top pen holder for her. It has a nice silver metallic finish and goes with her new-age look decor in the house.

Mumma made amazing gulab-jaamuns today. It was great ^_^

I am off to sleep as I am getting up very early. I will be meeting Flounder after she is off from work tommorow. Shoots! I forgot. Gotta brush my teeth. Damn me.

I was actually sleeping without brushing them. Then Flounder called a few minutes back and I got up. I brushed my teeth and now I'm not getting sleep so fast. Or perhaps I am. Yaaaawwwwnnnn!!!!. I am yawning away to glory.

So, today was Diwali and it was great. Things were good although I still ended up in a small fight with Mumma. Damn! I just need to control my anger. Aaaarrgggh!!! Anyways, I am so happy that she cares for me so much.

Flounder is still recovering from Malaria and I am still worried about her. Then it's the finances too. We are trying to save every bit for our future. And I am the one who always messes it up. Don't do enough I guess.

Anyways, me feeling a bit sleepy so I will doze off. Although I wish Flounder was here and I could just cuddle up to her and go off to sleep. <3

Yeah!

It has been a hectic (but emotionally peaceful) last few days at work.

It has been a bit worrying coz Flounder is suffering with Malaria. I was so depressed, but I just could not go and see her. Anyways, she is such a brave and comitted person; she is at work as I type this.

I love you Flounder.

Me a bit sleepy as I would have to get up early as it is Diwali tommorow.

Oops! I forgot. Wishing you guys a great Diwali!!!

Yawn!!!

Off for some sleep… but will be awake when Flounder calls me in her break from work. I have'nt brushed my teeth tonight as I will do that when she calls and then will finally sleep.

Ever since you have come into my life, things have changed completely. The world has never been so beautiful before. Love the fact that you are so cute and sweet and still so mature and level-headed.





I just wanted you to know that you have added a



to my life. I just wanted to say that



that I cause you so much trouble & if I ever do anything to hurt you. But now I want to



When we started out,



but you've made it so amazing for us. I just can't imagine living without you. If I do, it would not be really meaningful to live.





There was a time before we got together when I was thinking to myself,



But now you don't even know



I know you've told me,



I have too. But Sssshh!!



Thank you Flounder for loving me; more than I could EVER love you.

And you know, even 100 years later; I would just like to sit down and chat with you over a cup of coffee. This is what it will always look like





Icons courtesy fruity_taste

I've a small picture message for Flounder.














You have really given me



Photo courtesy fruity_taste

Guys,

Flounder just visited my blog after I changed the look of it by adding a bit of colour and a few cute teddies in place of mood icons. You can view it by clicking here.

Flounder, maari jaan; I love you too.

Yup! I mean it. I am not trying to have those coloured strips on my layout which state things like, 'Grey's anatomy is love' or David Krumholtz is love. For me, the meaning of my life has changed ever since Flounder (Monaz) and I've been together. So, for me now;

Flounder IS love.

She has become the meaning of love to me.

The last couple of days have been eventful (as always - AGAIN (duh!)). My colleague, Rishi Arora who used to manage the team with me was promoted. Now he is my manager too! Also, another colleague of mine, Ashwini; was promoted to a supervisory position. She is a sweet girl and a good friend of Flounder.

So, now Ryan Abraham (who was promoted earlier in October) will be my manager's manager and it is still a priviledge to be working with him. Ryan Abraham is cool!

Oh! I forgot. This means that Sumitra Cardoz (a great friend of Flounder and myself) will be managing the team alongwith me. Oh! This is some great news too!

Flounder has not been keeping well for the last couple of days :( I so much want to meet her, but I want to honour my work committments too and hence decided against showing up at her place. I am praying every day at least three-four times that she gets well soon. Please pray for her. I can't imagine a life without her. Even if is slightly discomforted, I feel so bad that it sounds crazy to me at times. I almost cried on friday at work when she mentioned that she was unwell. I went to wash my face to ensure that my team does not see it. Please God, please give Monaz the strength to get well soon.

Mumma stayed overnight at my sister Neha's house on friday night. It left me scrambling for last minute junk food arrangements, but she was so happy when she returned on saturday night.

It is wee-hours of Sunday morning and I am not getting too much sleep as I am working on which Mutual Fund to invest in. Will go with Reliance or HDFC.

Anyways, it was a good day at work. My team is really working harder than before and I've not lost my calm for weeks now. It feels so great. Now, I am deciding to take my work as a team leader to the next level. It is by motivating my team to work even harder and prove to everyone that we can do it. And with Sumi being there to assist and support me, it should work out.

A last bit, I am a bit worried by the fact that there has been an Emergency declared in the neighbouring Pakistan. I have written a lot on International Politics (a lot of links later), and feel for people of Pakistan whose basic rights are now suspended. Anyways, we can only wait to see the developments.

I will be doing a bit of math with my finances before I go to sleep so that I make sure all my payments for this month are in order.

And damn me!!! I am angry that I forgot to brush my teeth last night. Although Flounder for once would not mind as much ;) I WILL brush my teeth tonight before sleeping.

So, you guys did read the post titled A diamond is forever. Damn! I had to keep the post 'friends only' but made a mistake.

Anyways, now ya know that I am crazy about Flounder and I am planning to buy a diamond ring for her. There, I've said it again.

I had reported to work very early today; I was there at 09:30 AM. It's early coz I've gotta be there by 02:00 PM. I did that because it had been more than a week that I was on leave and I had to finish the backlog built. I checked my mails (about 400-odd) and was quite impressed that I did not have more than a handful (6 to be precise) mails to be actioned. My colleagues Rishi Arora and Sumitra Cardoz (God bless them both and Sumi a lot more for doing my bit of work) had taken care of it all in my absence. I just finished the daily audit work and then the day started as my team members started coming in.

I met the officer from the bank for refinancing my car loan and he was extremely helpful. I hope I can get it done and then I would save more than Rs.58k. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Now, a strange thing happened today. Flounder and I used to work at the same office before she moved to work with another company. We were working on the same project and that's how we met. Now, I kept on remembering her all through the day coz I was in office again after more than a week. A strange feeling, but I just fell in love with Flounder all over again. It seemed great to be working where we both had shared time working and helping each other out. I just could not take her image working in front of me from my thoughts.

Crazy me.

I reached home at 11:40 PM (approximately) and I feel really tired. I have to realize that working extra hours shows my dedication, but also perhaps shows my inability to prioritize, handle deadlines, delegate and give importance to my health and personal life. Now, I've always bragged about how many hours I have (and can) spend at work, but that's sounding rubbish to me now. I want to be working for not more than 45 hours a week and that's it. It gives me time for my running, studies, and most importantly; family. I know that France has a law that does not allow it's citizens to work more than 35 hours a week. That means only 7 hours a day. How I wish I was a french citizen!!!

Neways, since I am not; I will try managing my work in the specified time and spend more quality time focusing on my other goals and with my family.

Oh! As I go to sleep, I've asked Flounder to wake me up by 7 AM so that I can go to work early tommorow. I have a project I have undertaken to build a data tracking application to be submitted by the end of the week. Damn me! I just can't get out of the habit of working long hours.

Anyways, good night. OMG! I forgot! Gotta bush my teeth… damn!

Oh! I forgot, I was seeing this wonderful ad about diamond jewellery on television. And I have been thinking about gifting Flounder a diamond ring and now I just wanna do that on her birthday. I cannot imagine how wonderful it would be for me to do that.

I love Flounder so much it sounds funny at times to my cousins. They feel I have just gone crazy in love … and to be fair to them I am crazy about Flounder. There; I said it.

Anyways, I just will brush my teeth before I hit bed (something I started for the first time since 5th grade because of Flounder).

God! It's already past midnight…

I wanted to get to work early today, but when I got up I was pretty stiff. I then realised that I had leaves approved all the way through till October 30th. That meant that I did not have to go to work. I just decided to sleep more.

I spoke to Flounder in the morning and that makes my day! I just can't imagine not speaking to her at every possible opportunity for as long as we could. She has an amazingly soothing and calming effect on me. I just am absolutely crazy in love I guess.

I have been thinking about environmental challenges for about a week now. I was very active about this in school, but now I want to do my bit. Today I just turned off the tap while bathing to save water. I already am switching off my room air conditioner whenever I don't really need it. I am working on getting my act together for this one. I have have the small buttons to The Rainforest Site and others on my journal profile for a long time now. I just wanna do a bit more. If you too wanna save rainforest land please click on the button below.





Anyways, I wanna go off to sleep but I also wanna speak to Flounder. She is the one who has helped me get myself on track.

I am just feeling bad coz I argued with Mumma about my study plans and Flounder. I wanna stop losing my temper on the people I love the most and care for. I am working on a lot of things for anger management.

Gotta be going now…